thats PROFESSOR sam, thankyouverymuch

this blog is running into the ground, face first. its a blogtastrophy. no but seriously, i have lacked, missed alot of important events. no worries.

i did not catch that mouse. hes a crafty motherfucker. i actually saw him crawling out a pair of jeans (on the floor, not on me) this morning, and i kinda flipped. my jeans! im a kinky boy shovin mice up in my pants. theyre just a little rougher than hamsters ;). haha i kid, rodent butsecs is not my style. or so id have you believe...

ill be a dog man forever. LOLLLZZZ



SAM
FTW
WTF


a rhyme about work:
its people like jordan who would keep me in this city,
its people like jordan who are always leavin,
its people like dave who i most often hate on,
its people like dave who i learn the most from,
its people like allison who i crush on real hard,
its people like allison who think im a retard,
its people like matt and kathy who make me happy,
its people like matt and kathy who make me realize my art is lacking,


its places like the art shop that make me wish,
its places like the art shop that ill dearly miss,

shh, dont tell nobody.


the drive from houston to new orleans is often monotonous, but it does have its perks. its a history lesson, one can see how the french once owned this land in the names of the cities. take notes, this is important:

the city butte la rose is where the french lawmakers held their capital punishments for crimes committed, which at the time was the horrendous act of public spankings. thus, one can easily deduce that the literal translation is "the rosy cheeks".

the city grosse tete is where the french soldiers went for a good time, but being french, the prostitutes of the day were slim pickings. therefore, grosse tete can be translated to "gross tittie", named after a famous whore of the day, a 78 year old woman with only two teeth and twice that many breasts.

the next city you come upon is baton rouge, which was named for a famous infestation of narcissistic bats, who for some unknown reason or another, grew insanely ravenous when exposed to beauty products. and so you have the french label for "bat on red blush", or "bat high on makeup".

now, as everyone knows, new orleans is dipped deep in tradition and holds steadily on to its french history. but what many people do not know is that new orleans was once the pinnacle of shallow judgementalism, the height of exclusion and prejudice against anyone who did not fit the mold, and was THE spindle-shanked city for all things fabulous and beautiful. the name new orleans reflects this perfectly, as the modern day translation can be read as new (as in young, fresh, delicious) OR leans (as in thin and gorgeous people only). they call it the big easy, cause the fat chicks of yesteryear were desperate.

well that concludes the history/language lesson, i hope you learned something, and feel free to take this information and blow your professors minds with my inside knowledge of the significance of louisiana cities. bricks will be shat, that much i assure you.


hey girl das a nice scooter,
do you like it when it rubbin up on yo pooter?

i poop in yo mouf while you try to shout!
i shake you awake with a poop in yo face!




and now some more rhymes, hopefully a little more thought provoking.

the bags of my dreams
are overstuffed and ripping at the seams
fragmented fantasies peak through the rips
though i sew patches, determined
my desire still slips

somewhere in this room
i found my life
something better
ringing true
someone you thought you knew
makes you a listener
a blister on your thumb
cause you havent seen the sun
lost or found, or lost and then won?
springtime comes
pick me up from the comfort of my couch
they say this whole worlds just a guest house
well, beta males fantastic fantasies
lay into the core of me
and flood gush pour out onto the streets
through my mouth and other oraficeees
i ponder the sweet and the slow
thoughts sleeping, controlled by the tempo
pick me up lightly, a gentle stroll
just a single stair on the stepping stones
cigarettes and bad tv are what make me happy
but its the doodles in the margins that i truly need
i still find dog hair on my clothes
but i like the image that it shows
well make this world ours
with my ideas unfurled and his guitar
im tired, trying to wake up
pour more coffee in my cup
the sun always sets when i least expect it
and my last sunrise, well i cant recollect it
the street light shines
through my window blinds
and i spend too much time
wishing for an answer
but i gotta get these stitches out before my skin heals over...

i couldnt figure out how to end it. maybe sometime later.




"i saved latin, what did you ever do?"-rushmore