i say goddam this fish is tasty

work was cool today, i met a girl who is soo tite, and really nice, and very much in a relationship. its a trend im noticing here, ill meet a cool chick, and then meet her lame ass boyfriend. why cant i be the lame ass boyfriend, huh? i can be really fuckin lame too!


we had a couple dogs come into work today. saw some things i hadnt seen in a while. balls. dog balls. everyone neuters their dog, so when you see a dog that actually has a pair, its kinda vulgar in a way that it really shouldnt be. but hey, he looked happy, he was like, hey, i got my nuts, im a dog, ima hump some shit, check out my nuts. nuts!



easters here. im not with my family to celebrate, im not sure what ill do. church? chocolate bunny? easter egg hunt?
none of the above i think. i think ill get really drunk tonight, alone, clean my apartment, naked, and then pass out in a gallon of ice cream.

i been makin music. it aint that good.


if you arent wearing skin, youre probably dead.

a little rhyme about growing old:

i wont hear shit by the time im 66,
and thats ok, cause shit dont talk,
i talk shits,
sometimes you crash,
sometimes you burn,
but i guess youll never learn
that whats best for me
sucks for the rest of you



...now change my diaper,
its filled with poo


all this fish is makin me itch,
i wish i had known im allergic

i have reason to believe we have a mouse residing in our house. the reason, specifically, is mouse poops. i made a tunnel out of cardboard, put peanut butter on a cheez-it, and set it on the edge of the counter, right above the trash can. with any luck, the dumb rodent will fall right in to my trap. nobody poops in my kitchen! nobody!

stupid rhymes.


bryans a nomad, hes always traveling. every time i step out of the apartment, i freak out slightly, thinking ive just locked myself out. every time. thats probably the scariest thing about living alone, aside from burglars that love to rape. rapglars. burglapists. idk.



man, i hate 'for the love of ray j'. those bitches are dumb, hes interesting like watching your nails grow is interesting. all he talks about is bein real, and im like, yea, you real...real effin boring! hahah. he needs to pick cocktail though, for real. hes an animal fucker if he doesnt pick cocktail. an animal fucker. is that real enough??!!




freedom is not a license for chaos. but it sure as hell makes me wanna flip the fuck out, YA HEARD?!

i may curse too much. do i give a fuck? yea i do, im afraid a children will read this or something. although, if i ever got flagged or whatever, i think id be more happy that someone actually read this pathetically obscure blog. id probably even take joy in the fact that someone got offended. suck it up, soak it in, sex it out.