new orleans is better than old orleans

the girl with the pomegranate tattoo.

theres this girl who walks in to the art store every now and then, and when this happens my heart jumps into my brain and clogs up any coherent thoughts i would otherwise have. she is, for lack of a better term, exorbitantly beautiful. she also has a badass tattoo of a split pomegranate on her forearm. very sexy, i want to lick it to see if it has flavor. or maybe scratch'n'sniff. dammit, i wish i had that joke last time she walked in. stupid!


craigslist is weird. or maybe i just attract weirdos. i sold my bike recently to an elderly asian masseur, who felt it necessary to tell me his entire life story beginning at the exiting of his infant body from his mothers birth canal to the present time in which we were currently conversing. needless to say, i will not be getting a massage any time soon (i believe he hinted at a special service that in industry terms is referred to as a happy ending, which i can only assume means candy is distributed at the end of the session).

neutral milk hotel is amazing.


i lost the remote to bryans tv. hes gonna be pisssssed. maybe ill build him a new one, made of wood. hell never know the difference. and if he ever finds out, ill erase his memory. with a baseball bat.




strange dreams. two nights ago i dreamed the world was ending in nuclear holocaust, and all the important people were being saved in giant blimps, along with various animals and objects of cultural significance. i dressed as a security guard and essentially snuck on to one of these blimps, and basically creeped around through deserted hallways so no one would notice me. however, i stumbled into an aquarium of sorts, filled with rare and odd fish, which was unfortunately very crowded with prestigious people, who all immediately recognized me as someone who did not belong. in the ensuing struggle, i destroyed a fish tank containing very large and dangerous fish, which began attacking the elite in what can only be described as a vicious blood bath. a chase took place and i found myself on a ledge of sorts, miles below me the ravaged, fire engulfed world, behind me, the angry mob of those deemed intellectually superior, who judged me unworthy and wished my death. i believe i jumped.

last night, i dreamed i was a drummer in a three man band, who i believe labeled themselves 'air'. the band had been established as famous, and was at the height of their career. we did decent sized shows, toured, etc. however, there was discontent among the members, and talk of ending the gravy train. it basically played out like a corny band movie, trials and tribulations, leading to a triumphant finale of us playing at a very large venue, rumors abound of it being our last show. there is a point in our set where the music dies down, were asked if it is our last performance, we look at each other and smile, having come so far already, and instead of answering, we crank up the volume on a hard hitting song, and the dream ends. so i dont know if we continued to stardom, or disbanded. i then dreamed i was being chased by hybrid insects designed to wipe out humanity by injecting radioactive plutonium through their wicked stingers. there was a particular type of insect that hunted while you sleep, and aimed specifically for the butt hole. mmmm.